observing jaloos since ’82

A layered brown girl, in a flat beige world. Mom to one, Massi to few, Messy to many.

Welcome to this messy little corner of the web, where I keep tabs on life and delve into all of the jaloos. I’m a second-generation American, raised by wolves, so it’s been a colorful ride and I’ve seen some mess. Currently mid-stride, into my Bibi era, and casually dropping the few remaining f@cks that I have left in me.

It seems I’ve felt some type of way about being un-parented, marrying young, the impractical expectations of patriarchal (and sexist) Punjabi households, and being a whitewashed brown girl in a very beige world. What type of way I was feeling, I wasn’t exactly sure —so I took note! Everything was unpacked and analyzed, from living with endometriosis and all of its related joys (IVF, baby loss, navigating surrogacy, and surgical menopause), to the unavoidable run-in with a bitchy bibi or two.

Context — I’ve had the privilege of speaking with amazing therapists throughout the last 13+ years of my life, of which notes were kept with thoughts and observations, sometimes judgments (as needed, of course), and all the small things which eventually formed undeniable patterns. It’s been a wild ride, looking back and connecting dots, but rest assured, there is more –so much more weird shit to be dissected and analyzed. So let’s.

Join me, in all of my middle-age glory, while I proceed to figure it out, as I go, and continue to make people slightly uncomfortable, one conversation at a time. Also, if the mood strikes, I’m always down for a sporadic dash of chugliyan. I mean, I love mess.